I feel for the lone learner, just starting out. Its a terrible place to be, and I empathize with that. I was once there, so were most of us who weren't, raised in the religion.
But its a swamp out here, full of quicksand and mud, disease and other filth. What small areas of clear, dry land we have we have worked hard to make it so. Before someone gets into that area of clear, dry land, I have to know that they won't make that small, precious space like the swamp outside.
That's not cruelty. Its discretion. Cruelty is doing that to people who trust you to keep them safe, to look after them, lift them up and make them successful.
But when we do that, we're called toxic. Because, like the poisonous plant, we cover ourselves in a protective coating so that we can protect the precious stuff within.
If people don't like it, they can go get fucked.