If you want to Heathen, you're going to have to work at it. It won't be easy, and there will be moments when you want to throw your hands in the air and run screaming for the comfort of your Pagan bookstore. Hell, there will be moments when you cry out "Jesus Christ" in plaintiveness rather than vain expletives. This shit is hard, uncomfortable, and frequently unrewarding.
But there are those moments, those hall joys and frith-times, when everything comes together, the Horn is raised and we find ourselves standing outside ourselves, looking on in wonder and awe at this, this thing, that we have created. Not as individuals, but as a people, a tribe, a community. Each person, feeling a part of a greater whole, working together to build something. And once you taste that experience, however short and fleeting it is, you'll be broken for any other kind of religion. You'll be chasing the dragon like the rest of us bitter old fucks, screaming at the neopagan kids to get off your lawn.